


What Good Was Your 'Union'?

by SecretlyThranduil



Series: Tumblr Prompts and Asks [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Betrayal, Fingon got it a little wrong but it still hurts, Halls of Mandos, M/M, Perceived Betrayal, Poor Maedhros, Post-Nirnaeth Arnoediad, This isn't a happy fic, Unhappy Ending, is this the end?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25154452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyThranduil/pseuds/SecretlyThranduil
Summary: The first being Maedhros came across in the Halls of Mandos was not the Lord of the Dead himself, as he expected. No, it was someone he knew, the one person he wanted to see more than anyone else. Except, they did not look like they wanted to see him.No, he looked betrayed.Fingon.“You weren’t there… why weren’t you there?”
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: Tumblr Prompts and Asks [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817521
Comments: 15
Kudos: 29





	What Good Was Your 'Union'?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NelyoNelyos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NelyoNelyos/gifts).



> For Tumblr prompt:
> 
> “You weren’t there… why weren’t you there?” + Fingon and Maedhros
> 
> for nelyolofinwe
> 
> (Tumblr name: secretlythranduil)

The first being Maedhros came across in the Halls of Mandos was not the Lord of the Dead himself, as he expected. No, it was someone he knew, the one person he wanted to see more than anyone else. Except, they did not look like they wanted to see him.

No, he looked betrayed. 

Fingon.

“You weren’t there… why weren’t you there?”

 _Oh,_ thought Maedhros. _The Nirnaeth._

He could not speak. He did not have the words. How could he begin to apologise, when he wasn’t there to save him? When he broke his word? ‘I’ll always be there for you Finno’, isn’t that what he promised him after the darkening? He made a kinslayer out of him at Alqualonde, only to leave him behind at Losgar. He’d forgiven him then, but this was far worse. He broke his promise, and it had gotten him killed.

And that hurt more than the Silmaril. More than the fires he had just cast himself into.

And just like that dreaded Oath, there was no coming back from this.

“ ‘The Union of Maedhros might save us all!’ they said. How wrong they were. What good was your ‘union’ if you weren’t even there?” Fingon looked to be on the verge of tears, well, if it were possible for the dead to cry.

Maedhros finally found his voice, finally found the words to explain himself to the one he loved more than anything. Who had been there for him throughout everything, had trusted him until the end. Loved him until the end.  
“I thought it would work Finno, truly! If Beren and Luthien could manage to go against Morgoth, then all of us united would stand a fair chance! To attack Angband before he destroyed us one by one. But he did anyway.”

But Fingon wasn’t listening. He’d always listened before, why wasn’t he listening now? He interrupted Maedhros before me could fully explain.  
“I thought that when Turgon arrived it would be okay, but you didn’t come. Why didn’t you come? We were supposed to stay hidden, and your forces were to draw out his armies, that’s what you promised me. I’ve always come for you, why didn’t you come for me?  
“When Gwindor broke ranks and attacked, I had to go with him. We defeated the orc host and almost foiled Morgoth’s plans. We made it to the steps of Angband itself! If you were there, we might have succeeded.”

The halls around them were cold, but knowing that they could have actually done it, they could have defeated Morgoth together, that left him feeling colder and emptier than Maedhros had ever thought possible.  
“I didn’t betray you; I promise you that!”

But what good had his promises been in the past? He knew this would mean nothing to Fingon, but he had to try.

“Ulfang and his Easterlings betrayed us. They were in league with Morgoth, they were his spies. He was well aware of what we were planning Finno, he knew everything. That’s why he provoked Gwindor into attacking.”

His next words, he could barely speak. After all, this had destroyed him more than that Oath ever had.  
“I made it to the battle, Finno, but I couldn’t get to you. I tried, but I failed. We got there as Morgoth unleashed Glaurung and all of Angband. Perhaps I could have saved you if Uldor hadn’t attacked us from behind, and more from the East. We had no chance after that, we were under assault from three sides, and were scattered. But that is no excuse, I know, I should have tried harder. If it were you, you would have saved me. I was never worthy of you.”

The silence between them was deafening, and it may have been hours before Maedhros spoke again. Time is meaningless when you’re dead, after all.

“I was there though Finno, I saw what happened. What Gothmog did to you. I’ll never forget that, I dreamed of it until my death.”

 _Please, please say something_ , he thought. But Fingon just stared at him, the crushing look of betrayal never leaving his face.  
“They called it ‘Unnumbered Tears’, you know. The Doom of Mandos came true for us, ‘tears unnumbered ye shall shed…’ And I did. I wept unnumbered tears for you Finno, until the end.  
“We lost almost everything. Only Doriath, Nargothrond, and Gondolin remained, but not for long. We were forced to scatter into the woods and mountains, and those left behind? Who knows what became of them.  
“And I lost the most of all, I lost you. My Finno.”

If the dead could cry, Maedhros knew he’d be inconsolable. And when Fingon finally spoke, it might just have killed him all over again.  
“Don’t. You don’t get to call me that, not now. I need time. And we have all the time in the world, we are doomed, after all. Don’t come looking for me.”

He was gone.

And Maedhros was left in the dark wondering if he’d ever see his love again. 

_I don’t deserve to_ , he thought. _He has every reason in the world to hate me. And I think he does._


End file.
